Apples

An Apple a day does help.
Apples for Lunch
Mac for dinner

MAN UN-UNITED

MAN UN-UNITED

Born in to a middle class family in India I am expected to live a simple

life without any expectations like a BIKE or even a bicycle. But those were

they days really peaceful when we have nothing to loose. Despite being an Aircraft Maintenance

Engineer my father was barely able to support us. and when someone gets sick our family is finished.

but luckily this never happened. we were a healthy and happy family. This was not to be after my marriage.

will come to this as the story develops. After all the graduation and diploma training I managed to get

a job as a programmer. but soon I was on roads in Hyderabad. The company was not doing well. So I made

a conscious decision even as I was walking away from that company that day, that I will come what me

stick to software industry. I got additional training which my father did not sponsor even after begging.

He does not take risk even for children. He has been like that . This additional training helped me to

get a job again as a programmer in Chennai. but again this company was run by a person who had no

clear cut plan to develop his company. this resulted in doing a programming job but that will not

fetch me good experience. It was in automatic messaging using sound cards in computers and touch tone

phones. for example when you call a bank an automated messaging guides you through menu items which lead

you to banks services. I used to develop software to implement such things. but this job also was only for 1 year.

then came a great break. my colleague named Sudha had very good relative who has his own software company. She

recommended me to write a test there. I got through and that fetched me the right job. I got sufficient experience

in implementing application software in non banking financial institutions and some printing press and also a Sugar factory.

Arranged marriages.

In India this practice is prevalent and therefore I also had not choice but to go with this option. and where

are chances that a boy or girl or man or women meet in India. are there lot of jobs, shopping centers no.

every one is stuck with conservative mind but with fantasies as wild as any modern day boy and girl. but those

fantasies have no meaning and never will be true. may be some rare cases become love stories( failed ).

my marriage started on a negative note. My great father, whom I cannot excuse for some mistakes, has taken lead

role in matching the horoscopes. out of 100 I picked a bunch of horoscopes and he just grabbed from me. and said

the ones I picked are not suitable match(this is a negative start). Sad I left for my work knowing that my father is confused with his decision.

I just dropped every thing and went off to my sugar factory computerization work.

but one day, when I was away in the Sugar factory I had a letter from him that

the ones picked my be were matched by another horoscope reader based on my sisters advise. so I am ready for marriage

now. the girl selected by my parents and sister's ( on negative starting note ). The saga that started on that day

in April is still haunting me of choosing a wrong partner. she has taken me for a ride . She had not attitude suitable

for family. her family hinted me indirectly that she has some health issues due to poor diet. but that was

more simplistic hint actually proved to be a big bang issue . when we were returning from their home. our great

April-9 lady just jumped out of train when It was just stopping for a break in one of the stations. Reason

she has excruciating pain due to kidney disorder.stones/ . We got down and she was given temporary injection. to relieve

here pain. that night we stayed with relatives and left for chennai next day morning. then with a minimum savings

I took her to a specialist and he managed to solve this issue. fearing more expenses I asked my company to send

me abroad to earn money to take care of her bills. Otherwise I would have driven myself to suicide. It was common

in those days for people to travel abroad to do software projects. I was sent to Saudi Arabia, Riyadh for an assignment

with IBM( Arabian computer projects, SBM - Saudi business machines). This was my first welcome separation from her.

and this started the saga of a separated souls . I would have kept quite if she only had health problems. she also has

attitude problems. She would never help my mom who is getting old. immediately after returning from Saudi after 6 or 8 months. I opted to come to Singapore again to make money for her health issues like kidney and asthma and heart issues.

I came alone and stayed for few months and finally I managed to get her in end of 1995. So I am also happy that

I helped a person despite her poor family attitude. but then happiness would never fill our family. expectation

from parents for grand children also is not possible due to a problem in her Fallopian system. we opted for artificial

insemination. this proved positive and a son was born. unfortunately he carries all the negative genes of her

mother and suffers like her. He also has Gross motor skills. That means his muscular development is below par that results

in poor/weak coordination in arms.

So I have double responsibility not of 2 members of a family but of 2 members and their

health issues. my growing salary was somehow supporting these issues. I decided that I live a peaceful life by not going

home early . often used to drink with friends( not girl ). I never visited clubs. then I left her again and wen to Germany in 2001 for 3 years.

they joined mid way and we all returned. this when our problems peaked.

I even remember question that I asked her in Frankfurt while we were driving back from city. What is that I have not done for you.

Anyother women will simply love to have such a husband. why is that I am punished so much. why are you behaving this strange way.

basic problem is since marriage she is hiding a screte behind the marriage. i.e. their parents have just given away to get .

there is a saying atleast in our community that you can say 1000 lies and get a girl married. I dont mind that. every one has problems.

but when attitude for life is so poor , family cannot be happpy. If I were in her position i.e., with so many health issues, I would have happily

served and enjoyed life with proper attitude. thats my personality.

thinking that I will not help her any more with medical bills she called police. I patched by calling the same police department that by mistake I had dialled police instead of ambulance. The police were convinced and the matter ended there. but then

my mind went into a negative swing with extreme plans to cut the relation with her ones and for all. but her

aunt fought and requested me to help her. so I treat her as my dependent and take full responsibility to support a

her with her medical bill which are constantly rising. in 2007 she had stents placed in her heart when she had

serious angina . She even kept this first experience of her Angina a secret. she would get her blood tests done without my knowledge.

After her being admitted to hospital, she just collapsed, they even had to resuscitate to get her back to life. that has caused to total darkness in

family and I just stock to my job to ensure that I don't loose it. I used to work extra time to ensure performance bonus.

all this again to support her medical bills. I was in shock for 1 full year.

How can I just get into such a vicious loop of just looking after medical issues and not living a happy family.

I decided to live a freer life by visiting Bars and restaurants. with friends and sometimes alone. never managed to find

a girl friend. only now my thoughts are in that direction . and my relation with wife is nearly like a broken or divorced couple.

I feel alone and even work at home creates a lot of burden. even drying the washed cloths after returning from office. cleaning of house using

machine. All this I am happy to do. but only if there is reciprocation from this april-9 becasue of whom I suffered so much. this reciprocation

can be in form of good attitude. anyway now its too late. shes having so many health problems. that almost every month there is a blood test

for one problem or other.

I have to see now what turns life takes. I will very be a happy man with a family and a good life partner who understands me and we live and die in each others arms.